I read patterns the same way other people read words. It’s a language, and I didn’t choose it. It was given to me.
A gift always comes with a responsibility. You either use it with purpose, or you waste it. So I use mine to name what most people feel but can’t put into words. B*llshit. Lies. Manipulation. The quiet distortion the darkness works through. I don’t look away. That’s the whole point of being able to see.
For 16 years, good people paid me to call out their own self-deception, so they could build a better life. Closer to the truth. Closer to who they really are. But I used the gift on myself first. I took my own narrative apart and confronted everything I’d picked up from the very beginning and carried into my adult life.
Everything that wasn’t mine. Just noise on the line. A self-reinforcing ego. Shadow sides. Stories that kept me locked into an identity that didn’t hold everything I was.
It worked. As the years passed, layer after layer of what wasn’t mine fell away, and I became freer and freer. Today I let nothing outside myself set my limits. Fear doesn’t live in my system anymore. I’m free. Free in my mind. Free in my heart. Free in my body. Freedom is my highest value, along with justice, truth and love. On that, there is no compromise.
And that means something very concrete. On platforms that right now count 130,000 people and many millions of views for the greater good - and MANY more will come - thousands of comments come in every week. Sometimes daily.
A lot of it is off course hate and threats from people who can’t govern their own feelings. It doesn’t move me in the slightest. I don’t see them as an opponent I have to defend myself against. I see them as lost souls who’ve let the darkness take them over.
That’s what made me able to stand where I stand today. To fight the good fight. Not just against the darkness, because I’ve stepped into it. With my husband Thomas Finn beside me, who took the same journey.
It’s not an easy choice. It’s a necessary one. The one who has the ability carries the responsibility.
I write that with humility, because we did the work. For twenty years. So the gifts we were each given could be used with care, resting on a foundation that was stable and unshakeable.
Stepping straight into the darkness every day is not something you do without that foundation in place. Do it without, and at some point it eats you alive from the inside. Because that’s what the darkness does.
What we’re standing in the middle of isn’t about people. It’s a spiritual battle. Good against evil. Truth against the lie. Light against the darkness.
I can’t imagine anything more meaningful to spend my abilities and my time on, even though I’m not paid for it. I’ve surrendered to the fact that God has a plan and works through me, and that it will all come out right in the end. Without Him as my highest principle, and my husband at my side, I couldn’t do it.
I’m not here despite it. I’m here because it was a calling. A calling I would once have refused, because who was I to step into that position. Until I finally understood the bigger picture, surrendered in humility and trust, set myself aside and stepped fully forward, whatever it might cost.
Thank you for being here. For your voice. For your shares. For the warm words and love you send me in personal messages. I read them, even if I can’t get around to answering everyone among the many who write every day.
I love you! And I don’t just say that. I mean it. I feel it in my body when I read your messages. The love toward all of you who carry the same fire, who feel the truth in your gut and refuse to betray it, who would rather stand alone in the light than belong in the dark. As long as I have breath in my body, I will keep standing here, so you know there is someone who sees you. Until we all come home.
Why am I writing this? Because I’m HUMAN. I build relation and connect with other like-minded HUMANS. And because you deserve to know who stands behind the voice and the platform you follow. Not a brand. Not a persona. A person. Flesh and blood, heart and soul, who bleeds and prays and fights the good fight just like you.
This is me. More will come. And if you’ve read this far, you already know we’re the same.❤️🔥